Reflections on Growing Up

I don’t really know who reads this blog, so I’m not sure how many of you know that I’m graduating this year.  
I’m only 16 (I’ll be 16 1/2 when I “officially” graduate) but Mama started schooling me at the same time she started my older sister, Hannah, so I get to finish early. :) 
It’s a crazy thing for me…graduating.  I’ve looked forward to this my entire life and, now that it’s so close, I want to pull back and slow down these last weeks of school.  But I also have those days that I get very excited that I’ll be done with school soon!  The thought that after we graduate at the 2012 HEAV Homeschool Convention, I won’t have to do Science, History, Math, WriteShop, etc. 4-5 days a week is mind-boggling.  I spend a lot of time in school and what in the world am I going to do with that free time?
One thing I know for sure, I’m going to try my hardest not to waste time.  And I’m not going to quit learning.  I never want to be a good-for-nothing teenager that is only a draw on her parents and family…no!  My parents have given me so much and I’m not going to leech off of them when they’ve done so much for me already.
 I have many ideas as to what to do and I’m excited about what the Lord has for me after high school.
But I’m also nervous about graduating.
All I’ve known consistently for 16 years of my life has been my family, my Lord, and school.  And, by June, most of my school will be over…forever.  I mean, I might take some more classes just for fun, but the major hunk of schoolwork is over.
When I was younger I thought that people who graduated were no longer a little kid or teenger…now they are mature young adults.  (I know now that graduating, in and of itself, doesn’t make you mature but it does help.)   The whole thought of me no longer being a young, carefree person is so weird.  I’ve always been young (funny how you start out like that ;) and now I’m graduating…and that means I’m not so young anymore.
It’s just the realization that I’m no longer a little kid that hits me the hardest.   I’m not 100% totally dependent on Mama and Daddy anymore.  I’m becoming my own person.  
No, I’m not moving out of the house or going to college.  I’m not moving out of the house because I absolutely love my family, couldn’t stand living apart from them just to “have my own place”, and I want to be a bigger help to them now that I’ll be graduated.  I want to help Mama school the younger ones, help Daddy out more, invest in where we live currently (it’s gonna’ be flower heaven over here!), etc.  And I’m not going to college because, as Daddy says, college is just a place where you pay exorbitant amounts of money to have someone make sure you read your books and pass the tests.  If we had the same books a college had and an insatiable desire to learn, we could learn just as much and more, without the price tag.   (College is such a hot topic with lots of people…they act like you’re an alien from a distant cosmos when you say you’re not going to college.  Just because someone doesn’t want to go to college doesn’t automatically make them dumb, stupid, and useless!!  College does have its purposes and we’re not totally against them…I’m just not going.  All the things I want to do I can learn how to do very easily right here at home.  Besides, what I want to be most of all, a wife and mother, the professors at college cannot give degrees for.  I’ve got the perfect college professor for mothering/homemaking right here….her name is Mama!)
Anyways, I guess the other hard-hitting thing for me is the fact that I only have a few years left with my family.  I have no idea when (and if) the Lord will bring my future husband along, but…it could end up being 15, 20, or even 30 years before I could get married but chances are it’ll be before then.  And there’s no guarantee I’m going to get married but I have a reason why I think I will (but I’m not going to tell you :).  The oddest thought is that I could be married in 2-3 years at the earliest.  Just thinking about that is totally weird to me.  2 or 3 years?  Yikes!!  I’m pretty sure it’s not going to be that soon, but it’s still weird to think about. :) 
My years as a single lady are, most likely, numbered.  Am I doing everything to utilize these years for God’s glory?
Anyways, I just felt like typing up my thoughts…thank you for enduring this post. :)

  I really love where I am right now in life.  I could be a little picky and say some things I’d like changed, but I’m not going to complain.  I’m totally happy with where God has me!  Once I graduate, it’ll be so exciting to see what else He has in store for me!
Kimber :)

4 thoughts on “Reflections on Growing Up

  1. AH

    Oh Kimber!

    I loved reading this post! Since I graduated 4 years ago my heart has longed for more girls to find value in life outside of the classroom. When I started wrapping up my jr. year in high school I was plagued (ok, maybe not “plagued =D) with “the question.” I HATED giving the answer because everytime I was met with the “you're just a crazy person” stare. After you hear or encounter something enough you start to think it's true, you know? I thought I was “failing” in some way. I struggled between knowing what God had called me to and what I felt like I was supposed to do according to the world! Hind site is clearer than 20 20 and writing that out makes it sound so obvious but at that moment I began to question if I had indeed heard the Father correctly.

    I spent my sr. year praying through the choices I had made and where I felt God leading me. I came to a few realizations.

    #1 – God called me to be a wife and mother. There is not a single college course in this nation (or any other that I know of) that offer enough learning, training, or hand's on experience for this occupation! As far as I was concerned God had built in the perfect teachers for me in my mom and the Godly women in my life.

    #2 My Father had not lead me, my mom, and my father for my father to place my hand in the hand of my mr. In my heart that meant that I was meant to remain under the roof and care of my father. That meant living at the same address. End of story.

    #3 I didn't need a college degree or diploma to reach a level of respect. God had made me to be where I am. He has formed and designed this point in my life specifically for such a time as this.

    I am sorry, I didn't mean to leave you a book! I am greatly encouraged by your choices for this next year and the years ahead! Continue seeking the Father and His will in your life! You are a beautiful sister in Christ and I am so very excited to watch as He directs your days ahead!

    Praising and thanking Him for the blessings He will pour over you! AH

  2. Anonymous

    Wonderful post, Kimber! You've got your head on your shoulders correctly, despite the “you must be an alien” looks you will get from people who judge everything by the world's standard of success. Keep serving Jesus and everything else will fall into place right on time. love in Jesus. Melissa Robinson

  3. Sarah

    Life just flies by, doesn’t it? I wish grwing up would slow down.
    Well congrats on soon-to-graduate!
    You should set up your own photography studio, and take people's portrats, for a living, God has given you talent!

  4. McCall N. Doyle

    Hey Kimber!

    New reader here (I'm a photographer in VA too and a huge fan of Katelyn James)…there are so many wonderful charities and events that you could photograph professionally (homeless shelters, church fundraisers, etc.) in a way that would still allow your time to be your own and still serve the Lord while doing what you love. You really have talent and you seem very bright, and I know there are lots of possibilities for you after graduation.

    Best of luck to you & God bless,
    McCall :)

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