I don’t really know who reads this blog, so I’m not sure how many of you know that I’m graduating this year.
I’m only 16 (I’ll be 16 1/2 when I “officially” graduate) but Mama started schooling me at the same time she started my older sister, Hannah, so I get to finish early. :)
It’s a crazy thing for me…graduating. I’ve looked forward to this my entire life and, now that it’s so close, I want to pull back and slow down these last weeks of school. But I also have those days that I get very excited that I’ll be done with school soon! The thought that after we graduate at the 2012 HEAV Homeschool Convention, I won’t have to do Science, History, Math, WriteShop, etc. 4-5 days a week is mind-boggling. I spend a lot of time in school and what in the world am I going to do with that free time?
One thing I know for sure, I’m going to try my hardest not to waste time. And I’m not going to quit learning. I never want to be a good-for-nothing teenager that is only a draw on her parents and family…no! My parents have given me so much and I’m not going to leech off of them when they’ve done so much for me already.
I have many ideas as to what to do and I’m excited about what the Lord has for me after high school.
But I’m also nervous about graduating.
All I’ve known consistently for 16 years of my life has been my family, my Lord, and school. And, by June, most of my school will be over…forever. I mean, I might take some more classes just for fun, but the major hunk of schoolwork is over.
When I was younger I thought that people who graduated were no longer a little kid or teenger…now they are mature young adults. (I know now that graduating, in and of itself, doesn’t make you mature but it does help.) The whole thought of me no longer being a young, carefree person is so weird. I’ve always been young (funny how you start out like that ;) and now I’m graduating…and that means I’m not so young anymore.
It’s just the realization that I’m no longer a little kid that hits me the hardest. I’m not 100% totally dependent on Mama and Daddy anymore. I’m becoming my own person.
No, I’m not moving out of the house or going to college. I’m not moving out of the house because I absolutely love my family, couldn’t stand living apart from them just to “have my own place”, and I want to be a bigger help to them now that I’ll be graduated. I want to help Mama school the younger ones, help Daddy out more, invest in where we live currently (it’s gonna’ be flower heaven over here!), etc. And I’m not going to college because, as Daddy says, college is just a place where you pay exorbitant amounts of money to have someone make sure you read your books and pass the tests. If we had the same books a college had and an insatiable desire to learn, we could learn just as much and more, without the price tag. (College is such a hot topic with lots of people…they act like you’re an alien from a distant cosmos when you say you’re not going to college. Just because someone doesn’t want to go to college doesn’t automatically make them dumb, stupid, and useless!! College does have its purposes and we’re not totally against them…I’m just not going. All the things I want to do I can learn how to do very easily right here at home. Besides, what I want to be most of all, a wife and mother, the professors at college cannot give degrees for. I’ve got the perfect college professor for mothering/homemaking right here….her name is Mama!)
Anyways, I guess the other hard-hitting thing for me is the fact that I only have a few years left with my family. I have no idea when (and if) the Lord will bring my future husband along, but…it could end up being 15, 20, or even 30 years before I could get married but chances are it’ll be before then. And there’s no guarantee I’m going to get married but I have a reason why I think I will (but I’m not going to tell you :). The oddest thought is that I could be married in 2-3 years at the earliest. Just thinking about that is totally weird to me. 2 or 3 years? Yikes!! I’m pretty sure it’s not going to be that soon, but it’s still weird to think about. :)
My years as a single lady are, most likely, numbered. Am I doing everything to utilize these years for God’s glory?
Anyways, I just felt like typing up my thoughts…thank you for enduring this post. :)
I really love where I am right now in life. I could be a little picky and say some things I’d like changed, but I’m not going to complain. I’m totally happy with where God has me! Once I graduate, it’ll be so exciting to see what else He has in store for me!